SUCH A BOHR!!! (TO BOHR OR NOT TO BOHR)

(To all those hard-core Chemistry-loving people, read at your own risk. Please do not take it to your hearts. I’ve nothing against Chemistry as such. Just that, I loved the heading so much, I’d to write something under it.)

Have you ever sat in a Chemistry class? Of course, what kind of a question is that, right? Ever wondered why we are learning things that are not, in reality, quite right? As to why theories which have demerits or those which have been proven wrong ages ago are taught to us, and we like puppies learn them by rote? So many equations making rounds in our minds, i.e. till the exact moment the exam starts. When the exam begins, the whole of mole concept, quantum theory and mechanics and over a dozen other rules and theories go vamoose…evaporate into thin air. The only equation in chemistry I agree with is,

Electrons revolving around the nucleus = Stars revolving around my head.

The proof is for all of you to experience. Sit in any Chemistry class with the section dealing with quantum mechanics or any other section. I can guarantee that you will see stars revolving around your head with a similar motion of electrons around the nucleus in the Bohr model of atom.

What do you say about that? Being a Chemistry loving person, I love knowing things as well as learning Chemistry as long as you don’t have anything to learn by heart. When I was a small kid, when anyone said Chemistry, the idea I got was all about 2 test tubes and inter-changing/inter-mixing their contents and there occurs a blast. But here I am in 11^th and what do I come to know… there’s no mixing-matching, no explosion, just learning about this Bohr guy and that Rutherford guy. So sad, man!

To me, all these Bohr-Rutherford-Dalton and a few Heisenberg-Schrödinger guys are the same…proving this, disproving that! What’s the ultimate result? We, poor, poor students have to learn all their mistakes, misjudgments and miscalculations. And here’s another Chemistry equation I believe in,

Dalton + Rutherford + Schrödinger + …+ (whoever made the newest finding in Chem.) =

Cranky students with splitting headaches who turn into grouchy adults.

That’s my goodbye present for you people…happy at last, eh, you ungrateful wretches??? Me too, for I don’t have to make you read my high-standard articles again as I understand they are too high for your low-down brains to digest. But I feel you should be grateful that I have said what you feel, anyway,

Thank you…

PS: - (Don’t you dare not read this…it is a Post Script, for god’s sakes!!!)

No electron or atom or scientist has been harmed during the making of this article. Only this paper and the author’s keyboard have endured a few damages, not serious as such. All ideas, views and conclusions are purely a work of genius and this work is not to be supposed to be a work of a lunatic. The consequences would be dangerous since anyone doing so will be arrested and/or fined under Self-Proclaimed Genius Act 2006.

Thanking you for your co-operation,

Yours scientifically,

A self-proclaimed Genius.